Peter M – New Year’s Resolution

Today was my pre-surgery imaging, testing, and screening. All systems go for THR on the 22nd. Naturally, I’m a bit nervous now that the date is so quickly approaching. But I am also excited and very much looking forward to getting out of this painful rut. My New Year’s resolution is to be one of those guys who says, “I wish I had this done years ago.”
My day of tests and x-rays did not go without incident. First I got stuck in the elevator on my way out of my apartment. Fortunately, a porter came to my rescue – he kicked the door a couple of times and the door magically opened. For a few moments I thought my surgery would have to be postponed because of something crazy like this. I learned a person can become very anxious while stuck in an elevator.
Then I had the scariest cab driver ever. The guy stopped on the corner of 14th and 4th Avenue, opened the door and got out of the cab. I looked around but he was nowhere to be found. I freaked! With all the horrible headlines of terrorism reverberating through my brain I figured the weirdo planted a car bomb. I had my good leg out the door when the driver returned. He had been behind a kiosk buying a newspaper. He didn’t say a word – no explanation, no apology – nothing.
I was already having palpations because I was now late for my appointment. Unlike normal NYC cabbies, this guy stopped at yellow lights. I think it was so he could read his newspaper. We stopped at almost every red light all the way up to 70th Street. This set my heart racing even faster.
All of a sudden another car cut in front of us and almost caused an accident. My driver went ballistic. He used every variation of the “F” word that you can imagine. He actually pulled the cab over so he could get out and fight the other driver. When I tried to calm him down he turned around and looked at me with rage in his eyes. I thought I was done for. One of us was not going to leave that cab alive. I didn’t know what to say. The first thing that came to my mind was, “C’mon! You’re gonna miss that green light!” And that stupid utterance saved the day. He turned back around and we silently endured each other for the rest of the journey.
The first thing they tested was my blood pressure. As you might imagine it was off the scale. But when I explained the circumstances they agreed to allow me a “do-over.” A couple of hours later my blood pressure was 25 points lower. And the rest of the tests went well so after all, it was a good day. Nonetheless, despite my severe limp and all those painful stairs, I took the subway home.