While in Vancouver recently, I went for a gooder of a little 16K run.
I squeeked, clanked and crackled from where I was staying in Kitsilano and began to run towards English Bay and then through Lord Stanley’s Park – a 16K run (there and back) – I stopped at a cleared area and sought out the refuge of a washroom. I don’t often need to “go” during a run, but alas, after a Venti Americano, I needed to spray something fierce.
It was a wonderful run if not a little warm at 28C degrees. I have THR, right side, cross-linked poly and ceramic done 1.5 years ago.
I saw people everywhere, cycling, running, in the public pools in Kits and downtown. There was a beach volleyball festival going on and people all over False Creek swimming, SUPing, kayaking, sail-boating, power-boating and just lying there like seals, basking, reading or filling their gullets.
The route in Stanley Park was on the inside a bit, treed, so therefore shady and suddenly devoid of the cacophony of the masses.
As I arrive at the clearing, I found that there were no washrooms, so decided to do what men all over the world do, pee on myself.
I found an old Sitka Spruce and when I mean old, I mean before Captains Cook or Vancouver arrived to the area. I leaned up against it and went for it. When peering down to make sure that I still had my utensils, I shot a fine salty stream into my left ear, then left eye and across to my right nostril. I got some up on the forehead and into my hair. I then pointed south and let my legs each take the brunt of the rest of the blast. I peed on my shorts and into the rim of the sock that sticks out of the shoe. I got some in the toe box and felt the incredible lightness of lubricated toes.
As you can imagine, it was warm all over and not nearly as salty as I anticipated, as my eye only stung for a moment.
Once finished, I carried on running, dripping pee everywhere (mixed with sweat) and as I passed people, I hoped I didn’t smell of pee, just regular B.O.
Soon I found myself at English Bay again and promptly dove into the ocean and swam about, like “it” never happened. No worries.
Next time, peeing all over myself won’t be a problem. I guess. As long as it is warm out.
– happy to be running, even if slower and noisier.